Did you bring “I” with you or not?

Am I facing writers block? I am not able to think. These days I am not even in a mood to lift my pen to scribble few lines. It feels like my words are getting rusted. My ideas are facing unnatural death. My veins are dried out of thoughts and I usually don’t feel like reading.

This may not be an unnatural phenomenon for many but for me, my world revolves around my thoughts, my dreams and an awareness that I am aware of these thoughts is what keeps me going on… so I thought of setting up an enquiry to know the reason as to why I am feeling this numbness; as if I am brain dead.

I tried sympathizing with myself, pitied me for the state in which I am, as if I am a different entity altogether. It didn’t work. I felt worse, just like a bedridden patient who is bored of the hospital environment. I felt claustrophobic and found me devoid of fresh air, I was missing my freedom; my blue sky and above all my mind’s canvass, where I can see,visualise thousands of my thoughts taking shape.

Today when I sit here, I don’t know I am just feeling that I am detoxifying my self and feel pretty confident, that still I can articulate my thoughts express myself ..my feelings. Still I can light up the dying flies of fire and ignite it and see myself dissolving in to words.. my only bridge to connect with my inner world. There is no ‘I’ here, it is all my experiences, my silent observations and recording of it. Above all it is through these experiences I earnestly attempt to understand, to grow and learn.

Stories…

I grew up listening to stories told to me by my father, grandmother and my friends. Being an introvert except for my sister, characters from these stories were my best friends. I could hold conversations with those friends of mine for hours together. Gradually with time all my friends vanished and I was left with stories which no longer made sense to me, but they still remained stories.

May be tomorrow my life itself may sound like a story for others. In fact every one lives in a story, may it be my father, mother, sister, friends, Lenin, Einstein, beggar , it could me any body on this earth, they all live in stories, because stories are all there to live in, it is just a question of which one to choose....

Tribute…

Let me not deprived of my youth,
Let me not deprived of my freedom
The nascent wings let it learn to take the flight
Flight to the new heights

In to the new miracles of the world
From the panoramic heights,
I see the beauty of this earth
The holistic view, otherwise distorted by men

Let me not deprived of my youth,
Let me not deprived of my freedom
The nascent wings let it learn to take the flight
Flight to the new heights

The Observant

I see the mind of minds
Seemingly easy going but very observant
It’s amusing to see how mindless it could get
With mind in all, what goes around
It has eyes of its own
A fantasy of its own
A world of its own
Above all an order of its own
I see the mind of minds
Seemingly easy going but very observant

Saath Rupiya

“Right to Education” becoming one of the fundamental rights in India is great achievement for Indian democracy. Free and compulsory education for children between age of 6-14. Great!!! The idea sounds too good to be practical. Of course there would be contradictory views on the topic, since it could be debated that none of the framers of our Indian Constitution were uneducated, rather they were all well qualified, but then why didn’t they give education its due place and respect at that time itself.

Now let me narrate a brief incident, rather another story for all those who love to hear stories .Train travelling teaches you lot. You meet different people with different attitude; obviously they all have different stories to narrate. It all started this way. I remember it was Naigoan Station. As usual I was busy reading newspaper. Suddenly I heard a jingle. Must say it was an unusual one.

“Saath rupee mein imported novels. Saath mein Sudha be aayegi, white tiger aayega, twilight aayega, abama bi aayega, koi bhi lelo saath rupey.” The idea of getting a copy of book, that too which are expensive just to buy for one time reading, here we were getting for sixty. Oh, it might be the pirated ones, I thought. For the first time when I heard this I found it very amusing. I was searching for the person who was selling this great works by good writer at rupee sixty.

To my wonderment I could see the heap of book, but was not able to spot the person selling it. Then I discovered two small hands holding it from below. There is no wonder why I couldn’t spot who was selling it. The boy must be 2.5 feet in height and he was carrying 3 feet in height of books. I called him near, just to strike a conversation. His flashy tiny white teeth and a welcoming smile attracted me. Madam saath rupiya, sirf saath rupiya mein imported novels, koi bhi lo, sirf saath rupiya.

I asked him to pull out a book, and pretended as if I was leafing through the pages of it. But actually I was observing him from the corner of my eyes, the living small wonder standing before me. He was busy canvassing other Madams, and everybody was looking at him with an eyes filled with kindness. He was quiet excited about his work. I returned the book and helped him in arranging it over the top of the bundle of the books that he was carrying. As soon as the train reached the next station he was very enthusiastic to get in to another compartment of the train, where again he started his “dhanda” as he called it. It was his boney time.

Must be when I was of his age, the mounting concern of my parents were loads of books in our bags that we carried on our shoulders as coolies. Their hearts were too weak to see their children carrying their bags. So we were accompanied with a bai who used to carry our bags. Our parents did all to provide us with the comforts. I remember me having ice creams daily on my way back from school to home.

Now look at the parallel, these boys in the era of compulsory education, with “RIGHT TO EDUCATION” been given so much of importance is doing what? Are their human rights not violated, or is it the case that these all tiny kids are not humans. I am confused rather concerned. They carry books but not to study. They carry novels but will they ever in their live be able to enjoy the literature? The names they cry aloud every day, what good does it makes for them. They may earn rupees sixty each day and may be double of it through out their life per day.

Democracy as usual would grow slow to its letter and spirit. But what I feel is we as responsible citizen of India we could help in better implementation of it. “Now how could we contribute to it, after all we are not responsible for what they are?” would be the rising question. Yes, of course it is not mandatory for any one to contribute. If we want to avoid doing certain things we can find thousand ways to shun it. But before passing the judgment, my request rather my appeal would be to just look in deep with in you.

Sponsoring a child’s education, how much will it cost per month? Hardly three movie tickets charge. Imagine the good that one would be doing by it. Awakening a child to the world of freedom and liberty; isn’t this a wonderful idea. If you want your name to be published some where for all the good that you do, then sorry, these kind of activities is not for those people, who pretends to be kind but who charges for their kindness.

I know there would be alternate view points on this issue. It doesn’t matter to me what people think over this issue neither do I want to influence their decisions. If any one comes forward voluntarily just to support, to sponsor even if a single child’s education, then I will think that I have delivered my bit.

Do think over it!!!

Me....

I drenched myself in the holy rain

And was calm and pure again

Contended to witness the peace

The peace that lies within

I met face to face with me

With every thought dissolving in to one

Just me and the clattering rain

Exchanging warmth and cold

Everything was perfect

Me and the dripping sweetness

Just a moment away and

I am the beauty, I am the rain

Communicating using SILENCE as a WEAPON

Various Situations:

· When you are trying to avoid some one
· When you don’t have a definite answer to give
· When you have an answer but know that by you expressing it can create havoc
· When you are submissive enough and are so terrified to raise your voice
· When one is concerned about the society
· When one has definite answer but wants the other person to wait wait and wait for a longer time for a reply till they die out of boredom.
· When you know all, and consider you wise enough not to answer
· Beautiful way to say no more interested
· It could also be a brilliant way to convey your thought
· To hide ones feelings that one knows exist but want to hide it from the world and more over from one self.
· Struggling ideas always finds refugee in silence.

What more could it mean?? It’s an open survey; any body who has an alternative perspective can add to the list :)

Travelogue experience…

Never felt like I was going to do this… Pen is far off, but I had my dreams to chase. I am always that way. .. a girl with dreamy eyes. With out even giving it a second thought I was all ready. I feel happy to be where I am sitting now.

Waking up at 4.30 in the morning was not an issue at all. It was hardly any thing compared to the zest that this trip brings to my life. A bus journey through the heart of the city which gradually drifts away its path, to merge it self with the peace and serene environment of forest; unlike the ever honking, fast paced city. My bus leads me in to a new world. The experience is of loosing yourself to attain a higher objective.

I was always attracted by the prospect of traveling, never found it bore. Ask me to pack my bags and get ready and I am there with all new vigor and enthusiasm. On the way to Dolvi, falls Karnala Bird sanctuary, where birds from far and wide flocks in with a dream of traveling far and wide, just to find a temporary resting place in the woods of this forest, a home for few days... being in this place allows me to identify me as one amongst them who have landed on this piece of land with lots of hopes and aspiration. I see my destiny has taken me far and wide. In this unknown stretch of land I no more identify myself as a stranger.

I am actually lost in the creative genius behind the standing of this iron plant, strong and sturdy; a structure with no place for weaknesses. Whenever I walk through the premises of the company I feel I am accompanied by an unknown force, a power which guides me with a desire to take me some where and I feel it is asking me to stay and remain close to it. I feel spirited and happy too, for the acceptance that I am receiving. I am able to interact with the environment as if I am interacting with one of my kin. Some relationships are that way; you never know when you get fond of it and how you get attached to it.

ISPAT Industries

Happy to interact with people, happy to identify myself as one amongst them. I remember reading the novel ‘Mother’ by Maxim Gorkhy, and the craftsmanship with which he had drafted the starting paragraph of the novel. The opening lines and the intensity of the idea hidden in his wordsv(I am talking about the starting description of the manufacturing units given by him), now I understand that.

How workers queues in and starts working, and how time slowly drifts to warmness of afternoon from the lap of peaceful morning and later the sun sets just to rise the next morning to remind them of their mechanical existence. Yes, the only thing that I found missing is the loud crying sirens, reminding one about the changes that have been bought in the work environment in these evolving ages of renaissance. I think a brief of that novel was some where layered deep with in me. May be I am reliving that environment, the melodrama which was set up and brought in to life by the Midas touch of Maxim Gorky.

My thoughts as ever are random, and I find beauty in that. I feel a sense of freedom and liberty. I guess I am enjoying the moment and that has increased my joy.

Random are my thoughts,
Random are my dreams,
Random has been my life till now
Randomly I have pooled myself
Have wondered many times how random is stability…
May be randomly I receive an answer for it :)

Finding beauty in the unexpected..

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Every thing was unexpected. Suddenly from the debris of life, the long forgotten story pops up again, just to create ripples and to vanish of, as quickly as a stormy night never to be repeated again. Why is God testing us all? Why is life led to an angle from where it becomes difficult for you to decide? Why is this unnecessary confusion when you are hundred percent sure of your decisions? Why is this courtesy of happiness granted not to many?

If life is a song why can’t all sing it? If life is hurdle, why can’t all overcome it? If life is a dream, why can’t all chase it? If life is light, why is it surrounded by darkness? If life is love, why can’t all express it? Is that just we have forgotten to word it correctly or to understand what life is to life itself?

Here I stand as a prayer to be answered.. a promise to be kept.. as an intention to intrude into my heart and soul… a desire to be fulfilled.. as an idea in development ready to spring in to life.. to love to love and many more. Repeatedly I keep on asking me this questions just to discover few more loaded words adding itself to the already existing list, which are no longer just mere words to me, but an experience, a sense of feeling of being with and growing with it. With each new experience I am growing stronger. Trust me I feel I am getting closer to God. The distance between us is blurring and I am growing perfectly in love with him. His light is shining as my soul, bringing in that perfect radiance out of me which I can also see reflecting from other.

How we say that we don’t love one another, when the same light is being reflected from you and me, speaking the unique language of love. Though it may not have touched perfection, but what is perfection...it is just a myth, and could be termed as a perception defined subjectively. So why to stick on to the idea of perfection lets work on perception part and get it corrected.

May be I was not perfect in my approach but I am sure that maintaining success is not a one time achievement. My experiment for creating endurable relationship will continue, though I may have to face failures. I am believer, a believer in its truest sense. After all, no chord of life remains untouched by love, in short love touches all. Be that love, that light, yourself, which world can look forward to, whenever they forget to believe in the magical power of that word.

In one way or other we all are “Sapnoka Saudagar”, who comes to this world spells some magic and go with out giving any prior notice as we had come to existence in this world. Came from where..and vanishes where; all is known to just one ‘Saudagar’, who weaves all these magical dreams and he is the one who directs the role plays called “Life”, characterized by us on this beautiful earth.

Exit or Existence???

It’s been really long that I have written something. Its not because nothing has touched me, but the reason would be that I was overwhelmed by certain happenings of my life. All personal, but can share one with my friends who regularly read my blog. Today I am a proud Maasi.. I know you all must me congratulating me, and think that I have readily and happily accepted all your greetings.

Today I have a much greater mission to accomplish. Now that even I fall in the list of “elders”, I am really concerned about the mishap of the older people. Being a native of Kerala, I have immense pride in the fact that how much importance we keralite give for higher education. And trust me, most of them are well placed. Think of a higher position in the hierarchy of any organization and for sure, one will find a person from Kerala.

Superb na… but I wonder whether this affiliation that they show towards attaining higher post, fat salary and a good house is reflected on their relationship maintenance capability. I visit Kerala very often, and one thing which is evident and highly visible in Kerala is big houses. Most of my relatives and extended family is almost spread all over the globe, and that is seen on the kind of house they own. Must say... good palace like houses.

But then as a matter of fact, it has never excited me. All this marvelous architecture, furnishing and all…just remain as part of houses and not homes. What we find in these palaces are their age old parents, left as house keepers or one can say care takers of the riches of their kids. They really yearn for their daughters and sons to be with them but seldom find them in their company.

Their only companion is their life saving drugs, which keeps them engaged through out the day, reminding them that they have to take this medicine by this time and have to sleep after taking that medicine, have to go for a walk and than end their day by having half a chapatti, since most of them are diabetic patients. And of course to wait for the BIG BANK DRAFT that is send to them, which their children think is all that what their parents wants. I pity them (both parents & their children). There is no internal motivation to lead life. Again it is all mechanical.

Remember, what you sow shall you reap. What I can visualize is once when these so called proud millionaires, whose only mission is to earn money returns, they will find them replacing their parents role, by taking over the empty house, their empires built with passion to show off their possessions, which they were never sucessful in transforming in to home.

The important lesson, the basic idea of human existence is forgotten very conveniently. Is money all in our life? Those people who made us capable of earning that money, were they just a stepping stone? Where is humanity lost? If a person cannot hear the inner voice of there parents what good is he off? I wonder.

Unless and until they take a conscious effort to stop this legacy right away, I guess humanity will die its natural death, creating robots who knows not to do any thing else but that which has been fed in to their programming system. People with artificial intelligence... Sounds funny, but practically it would be satirical to live in such a world. Just by sympathizing with those elderly people is not enough to realize what they are undergoing, try to empathize and then we understand what it feels to be at there place. And will also know who is a rich person.

If this pattern continues, I am afraid, you will definitely end up as a proud parent providing all riches to your sons and daughters, but what will they be to you, how will they relate with you?? I guess let us be fair to humanity and give it a decent chance to survive.

Do think over!!!

To be continued…….

Certain things are good if it remains unexplained; it always gives you courage to act..since the entire power is concentrated on gaining strength to act. I wish my friend to have this courage when ever she faces challenges and I am sure that she will be facing one at every moment as she proceeds in life.

She is very down to earth, a simpleton .. who recognises everything, always tries to accommodate others and put their priorities ahead even if she has one of her own. I appreciate her patience but at times I feel it is always better to liberate your thoughts, your feeling, to feel and be like you. Just to show that even you exist in this world, even you love to be heard. I mean I believe in that saying that “Silence is golden” but here I beg to differ a bit by adding “at times" towards the end of it.

I can read her mind, I won’t say like an open book, but some of my close friends feelings I can read and in her case it says:

“There were times in my life when I felt excited about every thing, I mean to say what ever I did excited me… now I wonder where that part of me has vanished. I feel I am leading a very mechanical life… where there is hardly any time left to engage in activities that stimulates one to lead life and explore new avenues… for understanding the hidden beauties of life, the finer nuances of life.” Well now I understand the true meaning of being in a “pensive mood”.

How I yearn to wipe out all her worries and make her concern free, how I wish to do that. But the irony here is the fact that every body has to fight their own battle and evolve with their own strategies to face the challenges put forth before them by the biggest teacher.

My dear friend, you need to gather strength or else this mediocre world will eat you up with their dirty politics. I need to see my friend back with vitality and agility that I am sure you posses, but have just forgotten about it. I just wish to see you expressing your feelings freely at least once for me, and have the resilience power of phoenix to relive from the ashes. Here it would be the debris of life. Life has to be seen with eyes of “magic weaver”, who is always aware of their own potential.

I have intentionally chosen this title for the write up, just to remind you that when ever I think to write some thing about you the next time, it should be about your success in remaking your approach towards your life which always and always happens with all heroines :) I will consider myself to be the privileged one for getting the patented rights to do the honors.

Love
Sreedevi

PUZZLES OF LIFE

One of the most puzzling questions that I have ever encountered in life is the “Stereotyped thoughts” of people around me. When ever I write something about relationship, why to say even my very close friends speculate that I write about myself… my own experience of life. And there I am left wondering as to why can’t this people thing something “fresh”.

Its always the norm that most of the times people are interested in colourful, spiced up stories and wish to learn about personal life and expects that if some one dares to write about relationship, its about them and their chosen one. Link ups, associations and then an endless saga, ‘Saga of love begins’ which stretches itself like never ending Balaji serials. I must say that there will be no agreeableness amongst people on something which would be constructive but then when it comes to such a topic, it is amusing to see that there is high degree of agreeableness, shockingly amongst the people who may belong to different school of thoughts.

And the poor writer, the poor creature, is assassinated every second, by the thousand questions that are posed on them. Why can’t this people respect a writer’s creative freedom? I don’t understand. But as I writer I feel happy too, to learn that people are actually taking pains to read my write up though it may be to criticize. Some where it helps to gauge what all topic interests a readers. There is no wonder that most of the time works by Sydney Sheldon and Shobhaa De finds more market demand than the works by Maxim Gorky or Leo Tolstoy’s. I must admire them… my readers for their polemical comments and expressing there interest in reading what ever I write. In fact I must consider it as a compliment that my thoughts are actually instigating them to think…. ‘Thinking’ which is the long forgotten process.

Ok.. you may feel that I am drifting away from the main point of contention, so commenting back on the topic, let me be very candid in expressing my views which I believe in and it goes this way. Even if you are in a relationship that does not mean the absence of other relation and nor does it value to you become irrelevant and non existent. MAN is a “SOCIAL ANIMAL” and he cannot lead an isolated life and so live bereft of others. It is high time for us to get this fact drilled into our brains and hence it is normal that there would be reference to some or the other relation, (that may or may not have any thing to do directly with the writer) which obviously inspires one to write about them. Here the writer may not be concerned about the relation or the person, but the subject would be focused on feelings, how the act of the subject in question impresses you and forces the writer in you to pick up the pen and start penning the flow of thought that arises in you.

There is no summing up of this concept or nor is there any conclusion. Its all subjective and left to individuals interpretation. One just cannot keep on explaining each and every thought that arises with in you and nor the logic behind it. At the very outset it becomes clear that, it will be a futile exercise to lay our hands on it.

But then to end this write up on a positive note, I would love to dedicate few verse rather few lines to my little one year old, angel like sister…. Her big black round baby eyes have always been a source of inspiration for me to write…. :)

When I look in to your eyes,
I see a new dream.
A dream which is yet to bloom
But sure to succeed.

You are the free will
You are the spirit
Which takes my heart for a ride
And wants me to see more of it.

You teach me to believe in the power of DREAMS…
Dream to LEAD
Dreams to SALVATION
Dreams to LOVE

Dreams to LIVE& LIFE…

Challenges--- I Like it!!!

People always bang on me rather challenge me that they are able to track all my feelings and thought. How I feel, what I will think in a particular situation, how i will behave... in short they feel they can read me as a open book.

But the irony is that the more they challenge me with this, I must confess I feel the more I should mislead them. If I nod and say to them that their guess was perfectly correct, they become so very damn happy. Some where you know I feel like a winner in this game. If they can play a game with me, (here in this case it would be decoding my thoughts) even i feel that i should counter them and then the real game begins. You sympathise with their thoughts about you and you can directly get in to their thought process and at times you get to hear some wonderful revelations. Is it not one of the simplest technique to get to know what others think about you and about themselves. But then don't over look simplicity... one mistake and everything goes wrong. It is an art which needs to be mastered. Navigating in to other thought looks simple but then it is not that easy.

I hope after reading my short writeup on this topic one will stop proclaiming or challenging that you can track or know exactly what others think. One may be smart but always remember that there are many who are much smarter than you. So stop fooling yourself and taking pride in your capability of interpreting others thoughts.

Take care!!

Love

Haritha

DISTANCE—Just Another Creation of MIND

Does distance actually keep people apart?? Many a times I have heard my friends saying that they broke off because their boy friend/girlfriend has left to some other countries either in relation to their work or for studies. “See yaar I think it is not going to work, distance will actually prevent us from keeping our relationship alive” this is one of the popular dialogue put forth by most of the modern day Lailas and majunus :P

I must say in these cases there love is blown away with the first stroke of wind. Limited understanding, love, respect for their partners aspiration, and must say the self centered nature of human being is what the actual problem is; what if he goes, who will take care of me?? That’s what is seen on the face all the so called self proclaimed beauties of this universe. In this self propagated belief, what happens is some where truth gets masked, tarnished and the real and genuine reason gets a wonderful chance to hide behind the façade of modern life’s busyness. Entire blame goes to city’s lifestyle without the people, the city mongers, not even thinking about the fact that the very city which they are blaming, is the source of their livelihood and forgetting to accredit it. The intention of city is always misinterpreted as giving birth to inhuman creatures.

I have said it intentionally here why because I believe that beauty is something very internal. There is no harm in gauging it externally but then by doing so, be prepared to accept the fact that you are fooling your self and somewhere deep with in you, you have that realization too. Stop living momentarily. It has no fun. At times it is always better to listen to your heart rather your brains :)

We marketing students always believes in value adds, in this case the value add would be pure heart, which knows to love. This can discern right from the wrongs. Which is strong in itself that it won’t become a burden on others, but always be a source of inspiration to others? Here the definition of love would to accept the person as it is, without asking him or her to mend their ways as per your aspiration. A real beautiful person will understand the intensity of my words, because they are audacious enough to accept the fact. Remember the real face of truth is always ugly… but then it can stand independent of other factors and won’t have to change faces to suit the surrounding.

So my earnest request to all those friends of mine would be to check their thoughts. Is it the distance that have parted them apart or is it the communication gap or is it purely your animal instinct? If you are not clear about your thoughts then just not defame LOVE, it deserves better treatment, because LOVE is divine and prosperous from its entire angle. It holds the purity of water originating from the mountain cliffs, after all we Indians believe in taking bath in the holy water of Ganga to wash off our sins.

So just dip in the holy water of your mind and get rid of all your sins by respecting, caring and loving your loved ones. Be grateful for what ever you have.

Do think over it!!

Love
Haritha

Operation boredom …

Am I really bored sitting alone? No not at all J thankfully you know what, I know how to spent time constructively. Sounds like a bit of boasting but that’s the fact. Yeah.. all philosophy apart, frankly speaking I was feeling very bored today. Come on yaar, how long can a person like me sit behind the confinement of closed door… but surprisingly I was doing that L.

Of late I sort of finished reading the book ‘The Monk who sold his Ferrari’, after that I went through some of the boring ppts of financial management, cooked food, cleaned house but still I had lots of time at my disposal. Finally I thought of going out for a walk and exploring some of the new avenue in Vasai. Entered a cloth shop when I was feeling too hot outside, (this was a technique adopted by my friend and me to ease ourselves in the cool breeze of AC in the shop) so if you are planning to adopt this strategy make sure that the store is air conditioned :D), showed no mercy towards the sales boy, I asked him to pull so many clothes out of the shelf that the sales boy became so happy, he felt that I am going to buy as many tops, which I had asked him to keep aside.

When the business was sort of getting serious, I slowly preferred to escape the situation at the pretext of not finding my favorite color, which even I was not sure off (there is no doubt that in such situation nobody would be sure of the color of the fabric that he was looking forward to buy). Poor fellow, he tried his level best but was unaware of my intentions. Must say, I behaved in a very royal manner as if I had so much money that if I felt like, I will end up buying the entire shop. I don’t know how could I control the whirlpool of laughter that was about to swirl out of me, but then you know I am a real good actress at times. :P

On my way back I thought of treating me with some real good food. I didn’t have to think twice, I automatically stopped in front of a diary and ordered for paneer. Reached home again I must say the same boredom started gripping. Called up ammuma, had a lovely conversation as usual, she gave me all the instruction as to how I will fall weak if I don’t have sufficient food; she asked me to take two glass of milk instead of one and the list goes on endlessly for half an hour.

Inspired by the speech delivered by her I thought of preparing Paneer thikka Masala and started cooking it for the dinner. The deep silence was killing me, so I finally thought of playing my favorite CD on the music system and played it little aloud… then it was all fun after that, I sang aloud with the music, danced to please my self and it will remain so forever (since if there is any award that could be given to bad dancer, I would be the winner of the trophy.. lovely na.. hmm .. but not that funny).. then what.. had what ever food I prepared like a rare wonder, praised me for my cooking skills and smiled at me. The only other guest was Meenu, cat who comes and sits in my house backyard regularly and must say the only other admirer of my garden except for me. Offered little food to meenu. And there ends the party.

Here I am back on my laptop filing my experience of the day…hopefully this will give some hint to all those staying alone as to how to spice up your day even if you have no one around.

I must say I am incredible!!! Just kidding, but I have no issues if you have taken it seriously J

Lovingly yours,
Haritha

What is more important???

Sitting back on the garden chair in my Vasai home is quiet relaxing. From here I can see my small garden which as of now has a hibiscus plant and a Tulsi. I have sowed in seeds of Gendha, which may take a month or so to grow, but still I can visualize the beaming orange color flower shooting up it head, dancing in the air :)

What is more important??? Is it home or the concept of home??? Does the four cement pillars forms home, or is it what we feel about a place makes a home?? Do we really need to own that place or is the concept of ownership all in the mind?? I guess it is too many questions asked at the same time. :) What to do inquisitive minds cannot stop asking questions.

I felt deeply shackled when I was uprooted from my home in Sion. Oh, let me clear it at the very outset that we never owned a house at Sion, we used to stay in railway quarters. A privilege granted to us for 12 long years, just because my dad was an railway employee. No doubt our house was big enough, but then that just formed a smaller part of the criteria when compared to all other reasons I have to cite, as to why I loved my home so very much. That house had all my favorite corners. My computers desk… next to that my book shelf, if I got to point out more, each and every corners comes to my minds eye, allowing me no liberty to forget it at my convenience. It always awakens thousands of memories attached with it. What was it that made my home really very sweet to me?? I guess , I don’t have to wonder any more.

Is it the corners that I liked or the memories attached with it?? Yes it is the memories; I had lived the sweetest moments of my life in that house. Turning back now I feel both our house and those moments were rented, since we cannot keep both the things for ever. But what we can keep forever is the memories, which never looses it sight if we prefer to close our eyes and be with it.

Let me walk down my memory lane once again. Trust me, it is fun. Closing my eyes I can spot two girls in their skirt tops, going for their tuitions, early in the morning, out of which the younger had always to rush behind the elder one (since she preferred chasing her morning dreams rather than attending the boring science lectures). And the consequence of this---- they were always late for the class. Our fights, our fears, anxieties... If one was beaten it was always the norm, other felt the pain… on returning home all our favourite cuisine used to wait, I remember how I just used to throw my bag, wash my hands and enjoy the mini treat served by the loving hands of my mom. Dad always came to my rescue, when mom used to scold me for not studying… it was all very beautiful and perfect.

It was when I was in that home I realized the value of getting educated in the truest sense, I was lucky enough to meet my guru, and got a chance to get myself trained under his guidance. My beloved guruji helped in widening the horizon of my world. He made me realize and experience that if you can get in touch with the internal peace with in you, the biggest conflicts that we face (the intra personal conflict i.e. the conflict that we experience within ourselves) will begin to resolve and life no more remains a hell. What he used to say and now even I believe is that it is all in our thoughts and if we can win our thoughts, we can win the world.

Gods grace was felt at its peak in that house, when he was merciful enough to bestow on us, the sweetest gift ever presented, he gifted us our mom. If he hadn’t gifted it back to us, I must say that my world would have been ransacked and deserted. I know what ever he does is for the best. It was that home which granted us the courage to fight death, and to win and capture the glory of life.

It was in that house my sister dressed up in to a young beautiful bride and she stepped up in to her new life, her new world.

It was from here that I realized that relationship needs to be build and maintained, rather it needs to be cherished to grow it. Though this was the toughest lesson that I learned, but it will always remain the sweetest of all.

Our homes proximity to Siddhi Vinayak temple made me the biggest bakth of lord Ganesha ;). On the way to temple my friend Pooja joins me and then our discussion begins and by the time Siddhi Vinayak reaches we would be rushing with our topics and sees to it that we contribute the most by not missing the chance to exchange and express our views on the topic which we normally don’t prefer to share with others.

Can any one tell me, whether that house was magical or was it the magic of love, the love that we had for each other made it special?? Yes it is the bond that we create with each other which makes every place special and every thing lively. Now if some one still believes in the concept of rented house and the feeling of hostility towards it, just because they don’t own it; just remember that our life is also rented and what we live is just moments and what remains is memories. Now what kind of memories you will have will depend entirely on the kind of moments you live.

I will try to ensure that I will capture all the beautiful moments that I live and form the album of memories and gift it to my loved ones for their reference, to look back to it, to remember that such a spirited soul ever walked on this earth ;). Once again let me remind you that life is too short to have regrets. So live every moment. Enjoy!!!

Love,
Haritha

Searching what??? It's all here :)

To love some one is absolutely magical. It hurts a lot to see tears in the eyes of those whom you love. We all have heard this lovely quote, which says “love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay; love isn’t love till you give it away”. This thought must have definitely aroused in mind, which knows not to hate. Beautifully expressed, isn’t it?

When it comes to me I must admit that I have not mastered this art of expressing love. But it simply feels great to see the most innocent love in the eyes of my mother, her fear, anxiety, her concern….. It simply feels great to be her daughter.

Oh no!!! How can I forget to share this little piece of important news… today I had seen the most contended face…. That’s nobody else’s, but this bliss was radiating from a contended new mother. She have thousand things on her mind disturbing her, but this little idea, a new little sun shine has taken all her worries away. Today she is a mother, and a mother has the strength to withstand all odds. For her nothing is a challenge, her patience and perseverance can definitely melt rocks. It is not surprising; even Gods take birth on this earth to enjoy the bliss…. the love of mother. I salute the divinity; I salute the mother in you.

We all complain, we don’t have this or we don’t have that. Never contended, life goes in complaining. Have we ever thought of all the small moments which really pass by unnoticed? The problem with human beings is that they have taken most of the things for granted. We never accredit the presence of small small wonderful riches; we just surpass it with out even acknowledging it. If such is the case, then don’t you feel that we are paupers, trapped in our own definition of happiness or rather search for it? What I have observed is that this search ends up in piling of material possessions, or a dream of owning a big house, cars etc etc. How I wonder this could be the true definition of happiness.

Where is the contentment lost? Men have everything within him. It is just a quest to earn more. To put in words “to be a bada aadmi” that keeps him away from all the real possession that he has. I just have this one little question for all those people who believe in the concept of being a ‘bada aadmi’, does this refers to being big in size or in your deeds??

I remember Paulo Coelho’s book “the Alchemist” where the protagonist sets of his journey to discover treasure, but only returns to find it back from the place where he has started his journey. Isn’t it an irony? In a way it could be said that life is nothing but ‘Commedy of errors’ the way we lead our life, the search that we have for.

Many a times it happens that we end up hurting the sentiments of those whom we love… knowingly or unknowingly. The kind of person I am it takes a lot of time for me to apologize. The possible reason for this could be my proud or by the time I prepare myself to say a sorry, time must have elapsed and I think now even if I say a sorry that won’t be making any difference. And the consequence of this would be this. It keeps on irritating me. I could have evaded this entire problem if I had cultivated the habit of ‘listening’ to what others have to say. But then who has the time to understand what others have to express. I am always in a hurry, await my chance to answer.

But now I have understood the real value of the saying or rather the ‘SECRET FORMULA’ and here it is. BETTER BE LATE THAN NEVER. It’s a new dawn on me. I am practicing the art of being more tolerant and patient to others view and again a good news ‘I have started to listen’ :) Isn’t it incredible!!!

There are certain things which could be learned only by experiencing. I agree that every body is destined to be in a particular manner, but by your free will always try to influence it in your favor. Life is too short to have regrets, so live fully. Enjoy!!!

LOVE

Haritha

Little Insight

I don’t have any hope of being a profound writer, nor to be known as the writer of the century or millennium or what ever you say for that mater ;-). However, what I believe is that writing is an art, which grows along with your inner child. With each passing day some body inside you is getting mature and at this stage, every time it faces with new challenges, it would be difficult to find some one to share its world. So, in such a situation whom to count up on??

Writing gives your inner child that space, a vacuum that could be filled by a good friend (one who is genuinely interested in your stories and who reflects back on it) one who can comprehend what we mean to say, in short a pleasurable company, and a medium to express itself. When world leaves you alone, when you feel you stand alone in the midst of crowd, when you are not able to feel the pulse of your life….you can count up on your this companion.

The idea is quite simple. For instance, take the case of a bathroom singer. The songs they crows may not be appealing to the world outside the bathroom, but ask them (bathroom singers) what a relief it is for him to sign aloud in the bathroom. You feel you are the best.

Similarly writing for oneself, for our own self is worth a million dollar goldmine, in fact even more than that. It makes you realize how great it feels to be you. Recollecting the number of problems you have encountered, your heartaches, the no. of times you were successful in bringing smile on somebody’s face; the mere realization of that makes you feel hearty, fine, and ready for the next battle.

Until my next encounter with life.

Lovingly yours,

Haritha

IF YOU THINK
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't!
If you like to win, but think you can't,
It's almost a clinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, ypu're lost;
For out in the world we find
Sucess begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to thinkhigh to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battled don't always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

Struggle

Zindagi kya koi nisaar kare....
Kisse duniya mei pyaar kare..
Apna saaya bhi apna dushuman hai..
Kaun abb kiska aitbaar kare….. aitbaar kare :::::(
I know once we learn to quit that becomes a habit. And I am not ready to QUIT my dreams.