Interacting with people gives lot
of joy to me. As they come closer they confide in you a lot of things. This shows
that they love you and trust you. Or if we wish to think in a different way we realize
that they were trying to vent out their anguish, their guilt, their secret
pain. Of late I have started feeling that everybody is nursing a secret wound. A
wound that gets deposited in their minds; a dust filled one..May be from their
childhood or adolescence ..some hard learned lessons which makes them harder,
more reserved and makes them attached to their past. How far these wounds gets
exposure to the external world depends up on how well we have trained our minds
to hide things.
Whether one is confiding secrets
in one’s own mind or he/she is willing to share it with someone hardly matters.
Wounds remains wounds and it takes time to heal. It hurts and it pain why
because that is its nature. This is how I used to think till a minute before. But
now, let me assure you that there is a lot of difference between how I used to
think and how I think now.
Wounds, healing, time.. all these
are words and how can it possibly express something which runs deeper than it
can hold. When I try to express something I would obviously be forced to make comparisons.
To negate some feeling I will definitely have to invent some positive concepts and
describe it with some words which are supposed to have a positive connotation. Just
like for describing darkness I should be speaking about the presence of light. But
remember, my trial or attempt would not be sufficient enough to convert the
darkness present in to light. I mean the darkness remains.
Desire, action, wish, will, fulfillment
of wishes, what I ought to be, how I ought to be and what I am… can these be
expressed with the help of these shallow words which cannot think faster than
our thoughts?? A stone we recognize as a stone as our minds are trained to distinguish
and name things. We have created images for things in our mind and have associated
values to be. We have distinguished things to living and dead. And in the case
of stone, we have categorized it under non living thing and hence identify it
as valueless.
But for split second just imagine
this stone converting itself into soil with passage of time and plants growing
over it drawing energy from it. May be the plant grown over this soil is eaten
by man and animals as their food. Again the energy that was dormant within that
stone gets converted in to something. Many of us would have learned this
process as part explanation for life cycle and would have treated it as a
normal phenomenon.
What bothers me is not about the
stone converting itself in to whatever form..What amazes me is this stones potentiality
to hold life and about all the forms it already holds within. A small stone
holding the secret of life I am enthralled by its capability to hold
life..ENERGY. This revelation helps me to love stone as a stone.
I feel this is for us to
experience this journey of discovering oneself. Rather than depending upon some
ones else’s experience we have to undertake one for our own self. Stage by
stage explanation of one’s journey is not possible for any one. We say that a
particular person has attained enlightenment..but can that person who has attained
enlightenment really describe the
process step by step for us?? Or even if he does so ; are we competent enough
to grasp it or experience it.
With my new understanding I feel
one with the source.. one with the creator. All my wounds are healed. Now I can
smile to a stone, sing with the bees.. enjoy life as it is for what it is. The
very thought that I am the source of life brings back a feeling of oneness in
me.
